Eulogy For Brother
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My Funeral Eulogy For My Brother
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It can be helpful to keep your hands occupied, so wrap your hands around a cup of hot tea or engage in a quiet activity like knitting. The point of these actions is to allow your body to relax so your mind can wander freely in whatever direction it chooses. Before you know it, your mind will be firing off memories you had long forgotten about. Maybe it will be summers spent at the cottage, with your grandma bringing out her infamous lemon snow pudding. Let each memory lead to another.
Give in freely, and let yourself think of everything you and your grandma shared together. Here is where you record a variety of feelings and anecdotes about your grandma. This is your time to engage in freewriting about the memories you thought of in Step 1. Thinking and writing are two completely different processes, so now you need to turn those thoughts into words.
Remember to freewrite. You might have spent each weekend with your grandma, or you might have only seen her once or twice a year, needing a full day of plane travel to get there. Regardless, any time spent with your grandma is time worth writing about. Write down your memories and try to be as specific as you can. You should now have at least a page of random memories before you. Then take a look at your notes and see if you can tie them to a theme. Your organizing will likely result in one or two main themes, with a few others scattered here and there. Some common themes you might have include the following:. Add your themes to the outline, and add bullet points under each one that briefly describe specific anecdotes.
If most of your memories center on baking and crafts, for example, the majority of your eulogy will focus on sharing anecdotes about those activities. Remember that above all this is a time to speak about your grandma. Through your words you want to help everyone else in the room picture your grandmother doing these activities, and then allow them to share the bond that comes through grieving.
Share the personal connection , and show everyone why your grandma will be missed. You might find it easier to write the middle section first and then work on the introduction and conclusion. Working on the eulogy in this way gives you time to think about how you want to address those sitting before you. Of course, you might prefer to start at the beginning, feeling that you need to get the opening lines written before you can put your full attention on the heart of the speech. Either way is perfectly acceptable. Here you will address the audience and introduce yourself. My name is [First Name] [Last Name]. My grandmother loved days like this. And humor at the beginning might be the best place because you could become too emotional later on.
If you can, try to connect each story with a lesson she taught you or a bit of advice she gave you that came of great value years later. If your grandmother received special awards or achievements during her lifetime, go ahead and talk about them. Be a proud grandchild. Your conclusion will be difficult to write, and likely more difficult to read out loud. In these last few lines, feel free to address your grandma directly. Tell her you miss her, and thank her for being a part of your life. You can also end with a song she loved, a favorite quote or Bible passage, a final anecdote or some other token of fond remembrance.
Read over your speech and see how well it flows. Does the speech transition well from one anecdote to another? Does it have the appropriate tone? In this first example, the grandson draws from his many memories to honor a grandmother he was especially close to throughout his life. Grammy never stopped. Right up until the day she died, Grammy just wanted to be Grammy. Good evening, everyone, and thank you for joining me tonight. My name is Brody, and I had the honor of knowing Francis Schneider, my grandmother, for close to 35 years.
Grammy loved reading, and she was determined to pass that love of reading along to me. Those picture books later turned into chapter books, with Grammy still patiently sitting by my side. We started taking turns reading sections to one another, and let me tell you, she was good with voices. She loved imitating Papa Bear from the Berenstain Bears books, and she was an absolute whiz with characters from Roald Dahl books. Of course, I still asked her to read a bit of it the next time she came over.
I freaked out all over again, but that was probably part of the thrill. She liked it too. I could tell by the twinkle in her eyes. Apart from books, Grammy was dedicated to her community. She volunteered at the food bank after she retired from teaching, but her love of community gardening began decades before. One memory I have of those gardening days is the day a young mother stopped by with her two kids. They looked skinny, and none of them smiled. Grammy took one look at them and welcomed them to the garden. After this, then you can build on how you became friends, adding in the things that impressed you along the way, or how you and everyone else he met all felt the same way about him.
Giving people permission to smile or laugh during a loss is a gift that they can take with them, and later recall when the days get too heavy. If at all possible, you want to leave the audience uplifted at the end of your speech. Ways to do this include adding a prophetic funeral poem , song quote, or the words of his spouse or child, or maybe the clever advice offered along the way. Whatever you choose, just know that there is no wrong choice. Practicing your speech is key to a good delivery. If you have an audience to help you, then read it aloud to them. Otherwise, practice in front of a mirror. This will help you deliver the emotional parts to your story a little more easily.
Listed below are a few short eulogy examples to get you started. Every experience is going to be different, so feel free to use these as beginner templates and then go from there. Johnny left too soon, but he taught his family to be strong, so they'd be prepared for times like this. He helped make the world a better place, so we'd all remember life's beauty in dark days. Johnny always offered a helping hand to strangers, because in strangers you find friends.
And Johnny was always in good spirits because when you're humble and kind, the world always repays you with joy. My sister invited us out to go have some drinks one night, and in walks this beast of a man, with very little to say to start out. That all changed with a few shots of whiskey, and the man would not shut up. He was even there for the birth of our first kid. I could always count on Kevin to answer the phone, no matter what he was doing.
Most of you would never know that my brother, Albert, battled with chronic pneumonia after he returned from the Middle East. Even fewer of you knew that after a blast, he had such a severe brain injury that any trauma to his neck or head would have been instantly lethal. He had survived war, earned a purple heart, sacrificed for his country, and then fought cancer. Through it all, the only things Albert thought about were his wife and son. He was going to get better for them. He wanted the time back so he could experience all the things he had missed out on after being gone so many years with the military. Ralph left us way too soon. He has left behind a deep, dark crevice in all of our lives where his joy used to live. But in time, and as we all take moments to recall the innumerable good deeds, words of kindness, and offers to pitch in, soon that crevice will fill up with the same sunshine he held in his big, beautiful heart for each and every one of us.
Showing kindness and compassion while giving a eulogy is all part of good funeral etiquette.
